Little Birdie, Fly Away

Little birdie in your nest,
Little birdie it's time to rest,
When the sun comes out to play,
Little birdie, fly away!

--Nursery Rhyme.

 

(I took this picture, and might I add, by being painstakingly patient. It's not stolen from any website!)
...

I wanted to fly. I flew away. Far away. I explored. I landed. Sometimes I crash-landed. There was pain. I overcame it. I learned. I improved. I moved on.

...

I want to fly again, but I don't want to be scared. I can't take the pain anymore, I want to be safe.

...

Somewhere along the way, between then and now, things have gone awry. And I can't put a finger on it, or maybe I'm afraid I might point my finger instead...

...

Thinking In Sound.

‘M’ emailed me a couple of articles she read about famous people who ‘think in sound’. That got me thinking if it was actually possible. Actually possible for me.

Language would be an imitation of sound to help better communication between living beings. It is a means of expression. Now, language, when it follows a tradition, brings with it certain barriers in it's universal appeal in expression. (That is why, there are SO many languages and to add to it, every region has a dialect of it’s own.)
That is not the case with sound. Sounds sound the same the world over; the sound of pouring rain, the billowing wind, a bark, a sneeze; you can travel anywhere on this planet and they are still going to sound just the same.

So, what I’m inferring here is that sound, probably, will make a universal statement in comparision to language, and if used appropriately with language, will be a very powerful means of expression. (?!) And that makes thinking in sound important for people who are in the audio-visuals business.

I’ve been speaking in sounds, but there, the sound is for the effect. I wasn’t sure if I could think in sound. Sound says a lot without actually having to spell out everything.

Attempt to think and write in sound:

Early morning sounds in the life of ‘P’:

BRRRIIINNNNGGGGG! BRRRIIINNNNGGGGG! BRRRIIINNNNGGGGG! BRRRIIINNNNGGGGG! BRRRIIINNNNGGGGG!
Click.

Rustle. Yawn. Swoosh.

Plod, plod, plod, plod, plod, plod… drip, drip, drip in the background becoming louder.

(oh! well! I have to use other words, I’m too used to thinking in language to be able to give up on it completely)

Pppppppfffffffffrrrrr, pffffrr----pffffrrr, brushing sound, pthoooo, gargle, phtooo
Splash, splash

Plod, plod,plod, plod
Clack, click, click
Bubbling/boiling sound.
Click, click, clack

Clink, clink.
Pour.
Phooo, phooo...
Gulp...

---

Arrrgh! This is so darned tiring! and I don't even know if this is actually making any sense with simply the sounds?!

Overdose of Onomatopoeia?! I hope not!

Ah! C'est La Vie!

By the end of the semester, I had begun to hate teaching at FC. This comic strip just restored my hope; I'm not alone in this TA-ing world... I can survive another semester here!

C'est ça la FC! C'est la vie!

Bah!

Life seems so predictable; sometimes it gets hard to differentiate one day from the next. There is the frenzied, hyperbolic beginning and then there is the inevitability of the routine. NOTHING exciting seems to happen, life drags; things seem to be moving at a pace that would put a snail to shame, the inanity of every darned thing gets unbearable. And then one day!...everything changes (just like you always wanted) but then you realise that "the nothing" that you had was important, that the mundane life that you once had is what you really wanted. ... What then?
Everything just goes around in circles.


I know I am repeating myself here, but I can't get over it! It's there and I can't handle it anymore.

(Sorry for being so obscure)

Them and Me

They are everywhere.
They make me feel important.
They want me to do things.
They tell me what I want.
They want me to be happy.
They give me advice.
They ask nothing in return.
They say that is best for me.

...BUT...

I don't want them here.
I don't want to feel important.
I don't want to do things.
I know what I want.
I am happy.
I can think.
I want to be alone.
I am young, not foolish!

Why can't they understand?
Or is it me who doesn't really understand?

Is it them, or is it just me?

Ermm...

Paul Engle - "Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise."

My Gmail Feed does the strangest things; the 'quote of the day' is almost always apt for the day that was...I WISH I COULD'VE READ THIS DARNED QUOTE EARLIER ON IN THE (YESTER)DAY!

Now, I feel all stupid and not-so-wise after-all! :(

Why does it always rain on me?

Conversations.

I said, I love the quote.

"I wanna live with a musician. She'd write songs at home and ask me
what I thought of them, and maybe even include one of our little
private jokes in the liner notes."

Then 'S' said:

"i love that quote, but doesn't the film suggest in the end that this
is just an empty dream, just wishful thinking? that you can't CHOOSE
the person you love in this clinical, scientific way?

one of my pet peeves in life (as i've mentioned so many times) is the
apparent gap between who you want and who you need - - a person you
*fall* in love v/s a person you *want* to fall in love with.

because as far as i remember, the musician fling doesn't work out for
rob gordon!
:'( "

Then I said:

"i love the quote independent of the outcome in the film, i love it just by itself. i don't really know if i would really love to live a musician, i just find the idea very romantic.
you know, a lot of things in life are about wishful thinking. and it's fun because it's wishful thinking. it gives you something to look forward to. If something is already perfect, there is always a catch somewhere, you know, maybe you just did not see the *conditions apply written in fine print, because you were so overwhelmed by its perfection. You know, you make things perfect for yourself...there are always compromises, it's whether you choose to make them or you have no choice but to make them...that's where all the difference lies.

another train of thought,
i believe you consciously make a decision of falling in love, it doesn't happen of its own accord. choosing a person in a clinical, scientific way, sounds cold, but you minimize your errors that way.
If you choose to fall in love without thinking, you have chosen to be blind in love. which means you have to compromise a lot more to account for your blind decision (I'm not saying it's wrong, i'm saying you always have an option to do otherwise, you simply choose to ignore it).
With wanting to fall in love, you are still falling in love, but with your eyes wide open...you know exactly what you are getting into, the parameters are already set, therefore the compromises, much less. i feel its a lot safer that way.

and the gap you speak of, in the first case you are already in love so it doesn't matter anyways, with the *want* to fall in love, you are willing to fall in love, so you are almost there, the rest is taking another step forward."

And the conversation ends.

Why did I make the conversation public, you ask?
Coz these things have predominantly been on my mind, last couple of days.

hmmn...

I fully justify my stand to me, then, why does my heart still feel heavy?