Of Nightingales and Norah.

Nightingale
Sing us a song
Of a love that once belonged
Nightingale
Tell me your tale
Was your journey far too long?

Does it seem like I'm looking for an answer
To a question I can't ask
I don't know which way the feather falls
Or if I should blow it to the left

All the voices that are spinnin' around me
Trying to tell me what to say
Can I fly right behind you
And you can take me away

--Norah Jones

I've come to regard these lyrics as a definition for my life in general.

Looking forward to watching "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist", which is releasing soon at a theatre near me. :)

Of Anything But Ordinary.

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turibulent, succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
oh
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

--

Anything But Ordinary by Avril Lavigne

Of Things.

It's not like I haven't written anything this month. It just happened that this month has seen the maximum number of unpublished posts. I have 5 drafts on relatively important issues but I haven't the will or the courage (?) to post them here. I'm not sure if I'm an example of a private person, but lately I've raised my guards. Knowingly I've kept (almost) everyone out.

The reason, you ask me, well, haven't you read that I've become private?!

Hmmn, so I don't really know the point to this post. I want to ramble on, about nothing in particular (like always)... but words evade me (like always)...

Has someone already said it better than me? (like always)...

I am the one winged bird for flying
Sinking quickly to the ground
See your faith in me subsiding
See you prime for giving in
I give you all that I am

----

Life. I wonder what it is?
I wonder why I'm made to live by the rules?
I wonder if I'm capable of breaking the rules?
I wonder if I can survive after breaking the rules?
I find myself in a place and time in my life where I want to thrash all the Right-things-to-do and rebel, point blank, irrespective of whether I like it or not. Simply put I desperately want to go on a wrong-doing spree! I'm so full of myself and yet I can't figure out WHY? The answer eludes me.

Life happens. Then why have things ceased to happen in my life? I'm living a string of melancholic days and these force me to rethink my strategies and plans.

Isn't life just another term that has become so redundant that it has lost all it's meaning?

I'm sure now that I hate sitting idle. I need to work. I need to have things on my mind to lead a normal life. I need something to keep me occupied so that I can feel like I belong somewhere.

I am the white dove for a soldier
Ever marching as to war
I would give my life to save you
I stand guarding at your door
I give you all that I am

----

"Another one bites the dust", one of my UK friends said, she wants to get married too, you know :). This really has been a year of marriages for a lot of "my" people.

My school best-friend is getting engaged tomorrow and I am so happy for her.

Life is changing for us (for the better)... and I'm enjoying that we are going through it together.m We can actually exchange notes. We've both been hopeless with men so far and then we found our respective fiances. It's an exciting time in our lives. It's assuring to know someone else also understands exactly just how happy you are, how jittery you get, how nervous you feel, how cheerful you can be, how much love you can suddenly feel for a till-now-unknown human being, how grown-up you become, how you willfully change, how you can sway between extreme happiness and sadness in a span of a couple of hours, and finally, know how lucky you've been! It's amazing.

I am the sound of love's arriving
Echoed softly on the sand
Lay your head
upon my shoulder
Lay your hand within my hand
I give you all that I am

----

I am the one winged bird for flying
Sinking quickly to the ground
I am
the blind man for a watchdog
I am prime for giving in
I'll show you all that I am

And I breathe so you breathe
Let me stand so you'll stand
With all that I am

----

Interspersed lyrics from Rob Thomas' song, "All That I Am".

Of Singin' And Dancin' In The Rain.

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

They start in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

They start in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I going to say
When you make me feel this way?
I just, mmmmm

And they start in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
'cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go
I always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while



---

:)

What is Home?

Is it a place? Is it the people? Is it a feeling? Is it within you? Is it in your significant others?
I have gone home to so many different people and places that it progressively gets difficult for me to define it.

I am at home enclosed within the walls at 15/3 Chinar Society, F4.25 St Marks Residences, 1 Devon Road.

I am home with A, J, S, T, S, D, P, R, R, P, M, S, N, J, M, A, Y...

I am home at AISC, FC, UoL...

I am home at EBL.

I am home jogging at Hyde Park on a spring morning.

I am home sitting at the shore watching the waves, listening.

I am home watching a sappy old film on my lappy.

I am home listening to whistling white and sipping coffee.

I am home amongst the smells of crisp new books, intermingled with the musty smell of old, yellow books.

I am home shopping at NEXT clearance.

I am home cooking aloo and dal-chawal.

I am home in my red elephant... I miss you *sniff sniff*

I am home making collages.

I am home sitting, waiting, wishing...

I am home. And that's what matters.


Home - Chris Daughtry.

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Discovery for the day:
Death Cab for Cutie are f***ing awesome! Why didn't I listen to their music earlier?!
*sigh*

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Someday You Will Be Loved - Death Cab for Cutie



I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved

Playlist and More

Feeling sad and lonely and generally very low and I'm lying awake thinking of nonsensical things and just wondering where life has brought me? What I am doing with it? What am I going to do with it? I guess that's what they call "growing up"!
Reminiscing, thinking, pondering, analyzing and generally *feeling* was the theme for the day...
The songs that constitute my current playlist:

1. Keith Urban - Stupid Boy
2. The Fray - Over My Head
3. Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
4. John Legend - Save Room
5. Chris Daughtry - Home
6. Rascal Flatts - Help Me Remember
7. Blue October - Calling You
8. Goo Goo Dolls - Feel the Silence

You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry
And all you remember now
Is what you feel

The truth remains
In midnight conversations
I asked for this moment
But you turned away

Sad like a lonely child
Broken the day you're born
I held the light to you
But I was so vain

And you remain
A promise unfulfilled
I ask you for more
But you push me away

And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Everything means more now than
Words could explain

And if we feel the silence
Leaving this all behind us
Looking for something more to say
I don't know where I'm going
Only know where I been
And you move through my soul like a hurricane wind
Been so lost for so long
I don't know how to get back again
And we're drowning in the water
That flows under this bridge
When you're fighting the current
You forget how to live
And I wanted to reach but I don't know where to begin

And you remain
A promise unfulfilled until today
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Everything means more now than
Words could explain

And if we feel the silence
Leaving this all behind us
When it's gone what will you say
How do we hold on (5)
You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry

...It's my song for the day! Ain't these lyrics just lovely?! :D

Roosikins.

You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear

Love you 'R'. Muah!

Song Beneath The Song.

I absolutely love things that are beneath other things; the things unsaid, the subtle, obscure, hidden meanings that usually go unnoticed by "them". (for future references, "them" is the general, insignificant lot! bah!) I guess, no, I think, it makes a piece of work/art a lot closer to the creator's/artist's self. (I want to give this thought a little more thought, maybe another blog-post, some other day!)

I was listening to 'Song Beneath The Song' by Maria Taylor. I was moved more than I considered myself capable.

Hmmm, so why does my heart feel so heavy?

"Song Beneath The Song"

Cryptic words meander
Now there is a song beneath the song
One day you'll learn
You'll soon discern its true meaning
An interesting detachment
A listless poem of love sincere
Desire, despair
Overlapping melodies

And it's not a love, it's not a love
It's not a love, it's not a love song

And now the loops are reminiscing
Recurring dreams of minor chords
Metered time
Muted chimes find the beat

And in the pulse there lies conviction
A steady push and pull routine
Till cymbals swelled
High notes fell into reach

And it's not a love, it's not a love
It's not a love, it's not a love song.

--Maria Taylor.

There is so much undefined pain, so much undefined hurt and yet through all the undefined-ness (?!)I could still, strangely identify with it! it's not the simple sadness, there is something about this song that intrigued me immensely, and without knowing what that was, I still felt that I had experienced it somewhere... at some lost locus within the length of my lifetime...am I making any sense?! anyways, I hope I am, it's so hard to articulate such complex thoughts and emotions).
No-no, don't get any wrong notions about my life, it has been almost perfect (touch-wood!), no complaints there, but the song struck a chord somewhere, stirred something within me which I had forgotten existed; somethings I had shut in a closet to be forgotten is more like it.

In 'High Fidelity', says Rob Gordon, "I wanna live with a musician. She'd write songs at home and ask me what I thought of them, and maybe even include one of our little private jokes in the liner notes."
Listening to that... all I wanted to scream out was...."Me tooo!!" (just replace the 'she' with 'he', of course! :D)

Sorry, I digress. So, coming back to this song, it sort-of, seems to belong to the category of such private songs written especially, with personal liner by the poet somewhere. *sigh* [I dunno why I sighed, just felt like a sigh would sum up all the things that I'm leaving unsaid! :)]

Someday. Someday, someone is going to write a beautiful song about me, a song for me. Someday.

On that thought, I will sign off.

P.S.: I just want to add, rather urge you to listen to this song...'Song Beneath The Song', it's lovely!