Mourning My Morrie.

They did not call me to come to the hospital in the morning. I thought they had a replacement and I would probably be needed in the evening. Ma and Pa came back and just as we were getting ready to go meet him, Pa's cell-phone rang. It was from his cell-phone. I did not have to hear anything after that. I knew. It felt like a lightening had struck me. I felt numb and then tears ran uncontrollably.


I was flustered.


For a long time I sat outside his house waiting for them to get his body, all the time wishing I had known yesterday that that would be last time I ever spoke to him. They knew it in the morning, but she could not make herself to call me and tell me the bad news. Everyone thought I am too young to watch him die. In a way I agree with them. Now I will only have happy memories of him. They saved me his trauma.


He looked peaceful today, as if he was meditating as usual, as if he was sleeping and dreaming of something beautiful.


It felt surreal looking at him like that. He seemed a different person. For me, it wasn't my Morrie lying there, I wasn't saying goodbye to him. The goodbyes were for someone who resembled him, that's all.


I keep visualizing him in his white kurta-pajama and blue bata slippers coming down the stairs, seating himself on the sofa and asking me, "Kay mag, sadhya kay navin challay?"
He was the only person who could understand and speak my tongue. I still need him. I hope he knew.


It's weird talking about him in the past tense.

I am happy that he is free. I don't know what happens after death, if the soul is reincarnated, if there is heaven?! But I am sure of this, whereever that is, he has gone to a far better place. His soul will rest in peace.

I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
(Death Cab for Cutie)